=P

Try as I might, I'm never there,
I think I have it, flies out the window,
It should make sense, but to my heart,
It all just falls apart.

A unique belief, un-usual and wrong,
But to me, for me it will work,
I tried my best, ripped it out,
I tried to function without.

The more I pushed, the harder it hit,
Still I tried, it became stronger,
I knew I was right, that didn't change,
It was all so new and strange.

A final push, a final revelation,
I'm there, or so I thought,
Still I was plagued, trying to draw me in,
What I thought was the lure of sin.

Was I wrong, made a mistake?
The question remained, un-relenting,
I've had enough, but I couldn't stop,
I can not let it drop.

It doesn't make sense, no concrete answer,
I wish for the end, can I not just know?
Will I not just learn, what I'd known before,
Maybe I don't know any more.